Breaking Free from Borrowed Beliefs: Why Change Is Easier Than You Think

It came to me one day, as if whispered by the Divine, that there is nothing called control. There is nothing called not knowing. What we call “control” is only the mind clutching tightly at its own fears. And what we call “not knowing” is the refusal to trust that life already knows.

I began to see how many times we all hide behind definitions: I’m not confident enough. I’m not strong enough. I’ve always been this way. But look deeper when you say, “I’m not confident,” aren’t you already confident in that very belief? You are holding it with such certainty. That was my aha moment: so many of the limitations we live with are not truths, but habits of thought.

Habits are not just actions. They are identities we pick up, little stories we wear like clothes until we forget they are not our skin. Yet the moment you become aware, the spell breaks. You see that what you thought was “you” is simply a pattern, and patterns are malleable. Reality itself bends when your perception shifts, because it was never as solid as it appeared.

And here lies the grace: you always have a choice. This is the secret most people overlook. We keep asking, “Can I really change?” But the truth is, change is not something you force. Change is a simple choice. It happens the moment you loosen your grip about the definitions of 'me'. Change is not hard but resistance is hard. The struggle is in holding on, letting go is easier. But when you let go of a habit, we worry if it changes who we are - yes, it does, for the better. Because making space allows for newer, fulfilling ideas to develop. Resistance only blocks opportunities.

Think of a river. It never doubts its flow, never clings to its banks. It simply moves, bends, finds its way. We too are meant to flow. Life is not asking us to hold everything together, it is asking us to trust the current.

And when you stand back to look at your habits, here is the question to ask: Does this belief serve me? Does it mean well? Does it resonate with love? Because if it doesn’t, is it really worth holding on to? So many of our beliefs are not truly ours at all. They are borrowed, from the society we grew up in, from what people once told us, or from the stories we stitched together in our minds. Bits and pieces collected here and there, carried forward without question.

But the heart knows. If a thought or habit does not align with love, it does not belong to you. You are free to release it. You are free to choose again.

When you see your habits clearly, you are no longer trapped inside them. You are the witness now, standing outside. From there, you can ask: Does this belief still serve me? If the answer is no, you don’t need to fight it. You can let it go, like setting down a heavy bag you no longer need to carry.

This is the miracle of awareness. The moment you see, you are free.

So if you find yourself saying, “That’s just who I am,” pause. That is not the voice of truth. That is the echo of an old story. You are not fixed. You are not the habit. You are the space in which habits come and go.

You are not defined by what you cling to, you are defined by the freedom to let it go.

The realisation that came to me is simple: There is no such thing as control. There is only awareness, and the choice to soften.